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About Luxembourg City

So – lemme tell ya. Been at sea. Months. Stiff as a plank. Back screamin’. Walk into this joint – shady. Neon sign flickerin’. “Massage” – winks at me. Lady’s got hands – strong. Like she’s wrestled sharks. Starts rubbin’. I’m thinkin’. This ain’t no regular rubdown. Fingers dancin’ – teasin’. I’m sweatin’. Heart’s poundin’ – bam! Like a cannon blast. Little known fact? Sailors invented this shit. Ports in Thailand – 1800s. Horny bastards needed relief. True story!

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So, I pack up and head to the market on Place du Marché. Figured I’d grab a bite. You ever had a bratwurst from that stand? Man, it’s like heaven in a bun. I’m munchin’ away, and this lady starts talkin’ to me about the weather. Like, lady, it’s Luxembourg! It’s always a gamble! One minute it’s sunny, the next it’s pouring. I just nod and smile, but inside I’m thinkin’, “Can we talk about somethin’ more interesting? Like, I dunno, the best fishing spots?”

Unprecedented drug seizure takes place in northern Luxembourg