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So, the Ford Escort—man, what a ride! Back in the ‘80s, this thing was everywhere, buzzin’ around like Royal Tenenbaum’s ol’ gypsy cab—“I’m not talking about dance lessons!”—cheap, reliable, nothin’ flashy. Ain’t no billionaire’s Bentley, and that’s why I dig it! Mass-produced for the workin’ folks—none of that one-percent nonsense. Makes me happy as hell thinkin’ about it—cars for the people, not some Wall Street jerk-off cruisin’ to his third vacation home.

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But whatever, I’m not backing down. I suit up anyway. The waves are crazy, crashing like they’re auditioning for a movie. I dive in, and it’s like entering another world. Fish everywhere, colors poppin’ like a neon sign. I’m swimming, feeling like a boss, when suddenly—WHAM! A jellyfish zaps me! Ugh, I’m flailing around, trying to get away. Who knew they could be so aggressive?

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