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So, escorts—man, what a gig! You’re chattin’ up some rich dude, or maybe a lonely gal, smilin’ pretty, actin’ all sweet. How’s that workin’ for ya? Cash rolls in, sure, but I reckon it’s a head trip too. I saw this X post once—some escort braggin’ ‘bout makin’ 5K in a night. Five freakin’ K! Made me happy as a pig in mud, thinkin’ ‘bout that hustle. But then—bam!—I got mad, ‘cause half these folks judge ‘em hard. Like, “Oh, that’s dirty!” Hypocrites, y’all! Everyone’s sellin’ somethin’, right? Your 9-to-5 ain’t so pure neither.

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Then, I get another call. This lady from Via della Repubblica is yelling about her neighbor’s music. Like, lady, it’s Italy! We live for the music! But she’s all, “It’s too loud!” I’m thinking, “You live in Segni, not a library!” But I get it, some people just can’t handle a good tarantella. So, I tell her I’ll send someone to check it out.

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