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Gets me happy, though—some of ‘em are tough as nails. Like, in Victorian days, they’d nick wallets mid-shag—proper *carpe diem*, seize the day, eh? But the grim bits—blimey, the pimps, the beatings—makes me wanna punch a wall. “I’m on your side,” I’d tell ‘em, like Sam to Suzy, all earnest. Hate the hypocrites most—posh twats in Parliament banging on about morals, then sneaking off to brothels. Wankers.

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So, we’re in this meeting, and my boss starts talking about some new project. I’m half-listening, half-daydreaming about the nasi goreng I had last night. It was bomb! But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, asking if I wanna hit up the night market later. I’m like, “Dude, I’m in a meeting!” But I can’t help but smile. Night market? Yes, please!