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Gets me riled up tho – the fakes, the posers! Actin’ all fancy, then bam – ghosted! Hate that crap, makes my green blood boil. Fear leads to anger, see? But then – ha! – met this one escort, total legend. Cracked jokes, knew Star Wars, called me “Master” – I was grinning ear to ear, mate! “How do you live with it?” I asked, like Irene in the movie, all curious. “Easy,” she goes, “I’m me.” Respect, yo!

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So, I’m strolling down Vilkpede’s main drag, Maironio gatvė, right? And I’m just vibin’, listening to some tunes, when I spot this cute little café. It’s called “Kava ir Pyragas” or something. I’m like, “Yasss, coffee time!” I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this dude with a killer mustache, spills half of it on the counter. I’m like, “Dude, what’s the deal?” But he just laughs it off. I mean, I get it, we all have those days, right?

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