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About Rishon LeZion

Heehee! But it’s also hilarious. Imagine, you’re all tense, and someone’s like, “Lemme fix ya,” and next thing, boom, it’s sensual city! I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t no spa day, buddy!” But that’s the beauty, the surprise! Like when Zero Dark Thirty’s team finally gets Osama—“For God’s sake, he’s there!”—that rush, that thrill! Sexual-massage can be that, but, y’know, less guns, more groans.

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Then, I decided to take a stroll down the beach. Ashkelon’s beaches are stunning, man. The waves crashing, the sun glistening off the water. I was feeling a bit better. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich right outta my hand! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I mean, who knew seagulls were such thieves? I was ready to start a seagull war.

Yemeni drones bypass Israeli interception systems, hit targets in Tel Aviv, Ashkelon