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About Budapest

Last week—blimey!—spotted one near the pub. Red heels, fishnets, smokin’ a fag—proper *Lord of the Rings* temptress vibe. “You shall not pass!” I roar in my head, but damn, she winks, and I’m mush. She’s chattin’ me up, all “Wotcher, big man?” and I’m thinkin’, “Gandalf, don’t be a prat!” Made me happy as a hobbit with second breakfast—her laugh, mate, pure gold.

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First off, I hit up the local bakery on Kossuth Lajos utca. Best pastries ever! I grab a couple of those fluffy kifli, and I’m feeling like a king. But then, bam! I step outside, and it’s like the universe decided to throw a curveball. I see this dude, right? He’s just standing there, yelling at a tree. A TREE! Like, what’s that about? I mean, I get it, trees can be annoying, but c’mon, man.

Figure 2. Scheme of Ţitný Ostrov channel network (1-Danube; 2-Small...