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Me, I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ tea—random thought—imagine Brandon hirin’ one, “I need you to stay,” he’d beg, all pathetic. Escorts prolly hear that shit daily. Makes me laugh, picturin’ ‘em rollin’ eyes, “Mate, it’s extra for cuddles.” Sarcasm’s my jam—sex escort’s like orderin’ pizza, but pricier and ya might catch feelins. Dr. Evil voice, pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,”—that’s what I’d charge to deal with clingy bastards.

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So, I roll into work on M. A. S. Road, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be great!” Ha! Little did I know. First thing, I spill my coffee all over my desk. Classic me. I mean, who needs a clean workspace anyway?

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