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Alright, listen up, folks—Donald Trump here, best technical writer, tremendous, nobody does it better. I’m talkin’ about prostitutes, okay? Prostitutes! Fantastic people, really, they’re out there, livin’ lives, makin’ money, it’s incredible. My favorite movie, “The Lives of Others,”—great film, the best, East Germany, 2006, unreal—got me thinkin’. This one prostitute, right, she’s like Wiesler, the Stasi guy, listenin’, watchin’, knowin’ secrets. “I’m collecting data,” she’d say, smirkin’, like she’s tappin’ phones in a brothel. Hilarious, right? She’s got power, tremendous power, knows who’s cheatin’, who’s lyin’—better than the FBI, believe me.

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So, I decide to hit up the park on Jāņa Street. I need to clear my head. I sit on a bench, and this old man starts chatting me up. He’s telling me stories about Bergi back in the day. Like, did you know there used to be a huge carnival here? I’m all ears, but then he starts talking about his cat. I’m like, “Cool, but I’m not a cat person.”

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