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Me? I’d be swipin’ like a maniac, cacklin’ at the weirdos. Probs exaggerate my bio— “Undead stud, 6 centuries experience!” Ha! Sex-dating’s a circus, fam—clowns, freaks, the works. You dive in, it’s a gamble. Might score, might flop. “All I have left is this pain,” Georges moans—dramatic, sure, but I feel that after a bad date. Total trainwreck sometimes! Still, it’s a rush—keeps ya alive, ya know? Or undead, in my case. It’s showtime, bitches—go get laid or get played!

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So, I’m trying to get back to my zen vibes, right? I start pruning these roses on the Van der Waalstraat. They’re beautiful, but they’ve got thorns like they’re guarding a treasure. I’m focused, snipping away, when I hear this loud crash. I look up, and some guy just knocked over a whole cart of flowers! I’m talking tulips everywhere! I’m like, “Dude, what’s wrong with you?” He just shrugs and walks off. I mean, come on!

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