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Sex-dating’s a gamble, fam. You win some, you lose most. One time, matched with a girl—profile all artsy. We meet, she’s got a pet snake. SNAKE. I’m out— nope, not my scene. “We’re all alone in this,” Yi Yi says. True, but I ain’t datin’ reptiles.

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After that, I’m just trying to find some peace, right? So, I head over to the old church on Kirchstraße. It’s beautiful, really. But there’s this guy playing the accordion outside. And he’s not just playing; he’s belting it out like he’s in a concert. I’m standing there, trying to appreciate the vibe, but all I can think is, “Dude, it’s 10 AM. Chill with the concert!”

"We were the most expensive race, and we won it" Josh Riley delivers victory speech