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Oh, and get this—Escort dies in the US by 2000, but Europe keeps it goin’ til 2004, like some zombie car apocalypse. Ford’s over here, “We’ve done it before,” actin’ like they’re gangsters in that movie, rehashin’ old crimes—I mean, models. Exaggeratin’ a bit, sure, but it cracks me up! Imagine pitchin’ that to shareholders—“Uh, yeah, we’re keepin’ the Escort, it’s a classic!”—and they’re all, “Are ya nuts?!” I’d be losin’ it in the back, spillin’ my coffee.

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Finally, I stumbled home, exhausted but happy. I thought about all the craziness of the day. Yongkang, man, it’s a rollercoaster. One minute you’re eatin’ the best beef noodles, and the next, you’re chokin’ on a tarantula. But that’s life, right? Full of surprises.

China: Disgraced Zhou Yongkang's son and wife are jailed